Billie Stinar

I would like to thank everyone who came here today.

My mother was a very special person to us, and to anyone who met her could easily become friends. 

Growing up she was always loving, and supportive, I learned so much from her. So many of the little things in life that one learns can be credited to your mother, so many things you can’t name them all. 

Both my brother and I were in cub scouts and she was a den mother for both of us and many other kids in the neighborhood. My mother sold Avon for many years and became well known around the Burnsville area. 

My mother was raised on a farm and was very much a country girl she loved her gardens. I remember her making a vegetable garden breaking ground with just a spade shovel. She did not like pocket gophers and could be seen at times with a rifle standing over the hole waiting for that gopher to poke his head out.

My mother was a very hard worker and took much pride in what she had accomplished, and admire what she had done. 

There were many vacations she planned out, Florida, Utah Madeleine Island and trips up north it was always nice to have the grandparents with us. 

I can’t forget to mention how she was such a good cook, and there are many dishes. I remember her by. 

As the years went by and the dementia progressed, she never forgot who I was. I would stop by the house to visit and when I entered the house, I would say hi Ma and she would answer back hello Sunny boy. 

Grandma Billie was pure class. I know she loved her family deeply and cared for us in ways we didn’t always see. She was sharp, thoughtful, a planner and organizer who quietly kept everything on track.

So much of what she did behind the scenes shaped our family, and for that I want to say thank you, Grandma—thank you for everything you did for me and for all of us.

I’m especially grateful that she got to meet and spend some time with my son, Harrison, and that he got to meet and spend time with his great-grandma. One day, when he asks about her, I’ll proudly tell him what a remarkable woman she was.

Grandma, you’ve left a lasting legacy and brought grace and honor to the Stinar name. We will carry that with us always.

My grandma, Billie Stinar — or G-ma, as I always called her — was one of the coolest people I’ve ever known.

She had that timeless kind of cool. One of my favorite memories is G-ma walking up to me with her hands in her pockets, posture perfectly proper, and casually saying “What’s up?” She wasn’t just asking me how I was doing, she was always trying to meet me where I was at and connect with me.

She cared deeply, yet carried herself with an effortless, calm confidence that made everyone around her feel at ease.

When I was about eight, I learned that Grandma wasn’t my biological grandmother. I never met the woman who gave birth to my father, and I’ve never once felt the slightest curiosity about who she was. Because even as a kid, “grandma” had already been defined by G-ma’s face, her voice, her presence, and her love.

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve found myself saying she was the best grandmother in the world. And while that might sound biased, I stand here with complete certainty: there has never been a kinder, classier, cooler grandma than my G-ma.

She tended to our wounds when we got hurt with a gentle touch. She made impossibly abundant feasts every holiday. She played Old Maid and Guess Who. She complimented our artwork and encouraged our interests. When I was too young to play baseball with my older brother, she brought a camcorder so I could pretend to be a commentator — and let me tell you, I was awesome.

If we were ever in trouble, she had this incredible way of reaching out with a phone call that made us open up, even when we felt ashamed. By the end of those conversations, we didn’t feel quite so bad. We felt understood. We felt loved. We felt like there was this extraordinary woman in the world who believed in us — and because of that, we believed a little more in ourselves.

I never really knew how to tell G-ma how much I loved her. Not because I didn’t say “I love you” — we always did — but because those three words never felt big enough. When I was in college, we wrote emails back and forth. At some point, I started signing my messages, “With Tremendous Amounts, Aaron.” I didn’t include the word “love,” but somehow that phrase captured what she meant to me — and it felt fittingly classy and cool. She even started using it herself from time to time.

So with that, I want to say to G-ma:

I will always try to discover brilliant things through my messy processes. I will be generous, and I will give my gifts freely. I will never forget how much I have to offer this world — because you were someone who helped me see it.  

With Tremendous Amounts.

Grandma's Hands

Proverbs 17:6 “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.” This often applies to grandmothers too. As is the case with our grandma, and referred to as Grandma B by her great grandchildren.

Our grandma was not a fan of her hands, she usually had cuts on them. Paint from working on some project. Cracks because they needed lotion. But those hands did amazing things. She had veins that stuck out that I used to run my fingers across when I held her hand. They were also bigger. Strong! Anybody who has seen my dad’s hands can attest to the size of his…so now imagine those hands came from his mom. We referred to them as the Wagner hands.

For starters those hands could cook. Lots of soups and stew and breads were sent to me in college. She loved to make meals for the family. I frequently asked her for recipes and she gave me a church cook book with some of her favorites we notes on which ones she liked. She planned cut coupons and made lists. I loved her handwriting. Not many people still do cursive. Grandma was good at typing. Another way she was so organized was a vacation that we will always remember to Utah. She had a typed itinerary for all of our activities. Which included white water rafting…how many grandparents do whitewater rafting? But she was always down for an adventure.

Grandma was also able to sew. She made me hair scrunches to match my gymnastics leotards. So many clothes of mine were fixed by those capable hands. Saved!

Another talent our Grandma could do was hair! She did many braids in my hair, before school and practices. She did her mom (our grandma Katherine’s) hair. I would go to the nursing home and watch her put curlers in. She also volunteered at the nursing home. Playing cards with the ladies and cleaning the fish tank. And my dad could always count on a free haircut! It looked professionally done!

Our grandma loved to work in the garden. She had many vegetables she gave to us. Canning was something we did. Peaches were so good, and homemade apple sauce. We did berry picking and made jams. Those hands were also able to do the tough jobs such as tackling brush and using a weed whip, these were projects she was constantly knicking up her hands.

Our grandma used those hands to dial the phone and answer my calls. Whenever I needed to talk to her about life she was on that phone, Always the first one I called and could make everything okay. She called her sister Joan and I could hear the special bond they had despite the miles between them. Proverbs 31:26 “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue”.

Lastly our grandma’s hands held us as babies and held all four of my babies! Psalm 71:18 “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God till I declare your power to the next generation” So grandma I want you to know your hands have been passed on! I have those hands and I will use them…Gods power lives on in the next generation! 

My name is Travis Stinar. Billie was my grandmother. My grandma. More recently, I had affectionately referred to Billie and Gene as Grammy and Grumpy.

There was a game we played for several years. Grandma and I had been recycling a single greeting card. Each time, one of us would add pictures or words cut out of magazines to change the greeting or the theme, and send it to the other. It didn’t matter which holiday it was, and that made it all the more fun. It would be a surprise. When would the other one send it back and how would it be altered? It was a treat to see a bulky envelope in the mailbox from Grammy and Grumpy.

Grandma always kept busy, often too busy to play with us directly, but she found ways to keep us entertained while still getting her housework done. She gave us chores to do! Sometimes it was helping her bake cookies or a cake for Grandpa. Or vacuuming for her, but you had to handle the vacuum just right, lifting up slightly and dragging backwards allowing for stronger suction.

I recall her spending a lot of time in the kitchen, baking cookies, making jam or preparing dinner. If we were inside, she would check in on us to see if our fort made of sheets and couch cushions collapsed, or inquire what we were reading or making with our Legos.

Then there were those warm afternoons on the deck drinking lemonade, looking into the valley of cedar trees, discussing all the important things.

I don’t think we made our visits difficult for Grandma, but we weren’t angels. There were times when childish arguments happened. Grandma had a soft voice of reason and authority. Yet, she handled these occurrences with wisdom and guidance, turning an ugly situation into a learning experience.

Into adulthood, grandma was still a source for truth and guidance for me. …And a source for free haircuts! I enjoyed my lunch visits with her at their house in town. She whipped up a simple but delicious lunch. Usually this would include deluxe tuna fish sandwiches, chips, and a cucumber or fruit salad. The sandwich was “deluxe” because it had a leaf of lettuce in it.

We would bond over our hobbies, gardening, landscaping or bird watching. Grandma always kept colorful gardens and all sorts of birds came to her feeders. Grandma enjoyed hearing about the trips my husband and I had taken lately.

There are so many memories. I am so thankful that I have them and I hope you enjoyed hearing some of them today.